A Gibson Girl

(and, really, art in general, and those who make it)

C.S. Lewis said, “We read to know we’re not alone.” I think art, in all its forms, does the same thing, or tries to: to connect humanity, and to remind us of the things that bind us together. 

In my sophomore year of college, I took the first part of the British Literature Survey. It went up to the beginning of the romantic poets, and started with Beowulf and things like The Dream of the Rood. One day in class, a fellow student asked why we were studying things written by old—and dead—white men, and what possible bearing this could have on our lives, as 21st century students. 

The professor smiled slightly and leaned back in his chair. “What do you guys think? Does this have relevance?”

“Sure,” someone said. “”They’re classics.”

“But why are they classics?” Asked the professor. 

“Because they’re good?” Someone else. 

“Why are they good? What about them has stood the test of time?” Silence. “Could it be that they speak to some universal human experience?”

“There are no universal human experiences!” said the first student.

The professor lifted his eyebrows. “Really?”

“That’s not true,” I said. 

“OK.” The professor said. “What’s universal?”

“Birth. Death. Love. Loss. For starters,” I said. “No matter where we live, or how we live, everyone experiences these things. There may be differences in how we do it, but they’re in every human life. The things that endure touch on these things.” 

***

From the beginning, humans have craved connection. “It is not good for man to be alone,” God says in Genesis. Cavemen drew on walls. Ancient civilizations wrote on stone tablets things that we, so many years removed, cannot decipher. Why did they do it? 

The urge to express, to create, is truly a human urge. We pick up pen or paintbrush, or raise our voices in songs or words, to express emotion, to convey our humanity and to connect with others. To capture an ephemeral moment that says, “I was here, and I mattered, and these people mattered, too!” To capture beauty, which is all too fleeting, as Robert Frost noted in his poem, “Nothing Gold Can Stay.” 

As humanity and technology have evolved, so too have our forms of expression. Movies started as “talking pictures” in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. No sound, just expressions and movement. It was the birthing of a new art form. 

The power of film combines visual art, music, and acting into a powerful whole. The best movies touch something deep inside us, that move us to tears or laughter or to cheer—even when we know the screen won’t react to whatever we do. And the very best movies, like the very best books, change as we get older: our relationship to them changes, and they reveal deeper parts of us.

Few will deny that The Wizard of Oz is a classic film. When I was a child, I watched it incessantly on our VHS player. (This being the 80s, VHS was new technology, and the tape itself probably cost more than the machine—the movie ran about $80!) I’ve always loved its signature song, “Over the Rainbow”, so much so that when my aunts got married (my mom was third in a big family, ergo I had a lot of weddings to attend as a child), my grandfather would ask the band to play the song for me. 

But as I got older, I understood the intense longing and melancholy, and even brute sadness, behind Dorothy’s song in the barnyard. It wasn’t just that she was bored, or that Aunt Em was scolding her; it was a deep yearning for a better life. That sort of thing goes over the head of a three year old. 

Movies have become a cultural parlance, a shorthand. You know “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” even if you’ve never seen Gone With the Wind. Same with “We’re gonna need a bigger boat” or “play it again, Sam” (which is, actually, wrong. Bogart doesn’t say that.) 

A lot of movies are based on books, or plays, which can lead some to say, just read the original source material! And, yes, as a huge advocate of reading, I’ll support that. But movies are a communal experience, at heart, that reading just isn’t. Even if you’re watching it at home alone, you talk about the experience later, or go to the internet to read what others thought of it. Movies, like plays, lend themselves to group discussion and interaction, much like music and visual art. 

Now, like I said, not all movies are art. That is clearly true. But to disregard an entire art form because some of the pieces are less than stellar is short-sighted. There are many more jewels than fools’ gold in the movie pantheon. 

And what about the people who make the movies? Are they just “playing dress-up?” Are they being children? No! They are bringing these stories to us. Like Homer and the great authors, they are storytellers, albeit in a different medium. To call an actor a child playing dress up is like saying a ballerina just twirls for a living, or that Monet just dabbled in paints. To be a good actor requires an enormous commitment to the character and the world the production is creating. To provide good entertainment, and to make good art, is not easy. It doesn’t matter what sort of art it is: a painting, a sculpture, a novel, a ballet, or symphony, a musical. All of these take tremendous talent, effort, and dedication. 

Not every movie has a deep message. Not every movie is going to be preserved in the Library of Congress. But civilization is built on art of all kinds and all mediums. It’s what makes us truly human. 

So, in the midst of summer blockbuster season, go see a movie or two. Find one that appeals to you, and see what it gives you. Is it a great score? Great special effects? Fabulous costumes? Brilliant scriptwriting and peerless acting? Or maybe just a great, fun story? All of these things are great reasons to see a movie. And when all of these are combined, you have a truly great film. 

1. Yes, it’s 2;53 pm on Friday and I’m blogging. No, I am not stealing my work internet. Today was the first of many doctors appointments this month, and I got out obscenely early. It’s going to pour—at least it looks like it—so I’m glad to be home with my Ballet Beautiful book and lit candles!

2. Yes, June is “month of dr. appts.” It usually is, because we’re heading into the anniversary! (Seven years in July!!!! SQUEE!). Today: ENT. All good. Upcoming: Cardiology on Monday; the week after, getting my new cochlear implant programmed (YES!), week after that is the double header of all day testing on Monday and then an abdominal ultrasound on tuesday. (No, I am not pregnant. This is how things work….make sure there’s nothing happening under the radar). The fun all day of testing includes: labs, chest X-ray, clinic appt (which included pulmonary function tests), chest CT scan, a bone scan, and a 6 minute walk. Whee! And then in July I meet with my endocrinologist. Then I’m done. For awhile. 

3. On the movie front: Saw Thor. It’s so good! Really enjoyed. I’m sort of in awe of the Avengers screenwriters: they managed to blend all these different stories into a cohesive whole, and you really don’t have to be a comic book geek to get it! Also watched Red Riding Hood. Wow. It was sort of awful. I mean, I liked parts of it, but the anachronisms were not so awesome. And of my gosh, would Valerie’s mother please put on a coat!! She’s wandering around in what’s supposed to be the coldest winter ever in some ridiculous crocheted shawl with these HUGE gaps in it! (rant over)

4. Books read: Maine: OK. Some normal Catholic tropes, but…(sigh). Reading Gentleman and Players by Joanne Harris as well. And that little book, War and Peace. (Yeah, not making a lot of progress there)

5. Garden: Why is my potted mini rose bush doing crappily, while the one I planted in the ground is much happier? Confused. 

6. I am ready for vacation, now. I Need little cousins and sleeping in. 

7. And, lastly, I have a new column up at Suscipio. :) 

1) Personally, I LOVE Anne Hathaway’s version of “I Dreamed A Dream.”—at least the first, you know, minute we heard of it. I think the understated and intensely sad take on it works well. 

2) The film itself looks beautiful. Love the scenery and costumes. 

3) I’m excited to hear the men sing!

4) The person I’m most worried about? Amanda S. singing Cosette. Cosette is a honest-to-God soprano. I know she has to sing a B-5 in “Heart Full of Love”, and maybe, possibly, has a C-5 in Act II. I am not thinking Amanda has the chops to sing this. This is where I think they should have gotten a bonafide soprano like Emmy Rossum. But we’ll have to see…

5) Sasha Baron Cohen? He can sing? This is news to me. 

1. A nice interlude yesterday: I went to Wal-Mart to get the accoutrements to pkant my garden yesterday. The woman who helped me asked me if I was deaf (after I asked her to repeat herself the second time), and then proceeded to sign the rest of the transaction with me. That seriously rocked. 
2. I planted tomatoes, herbs, and two miniature roses. I hope I get some actual tomatoes. 
3. It’s MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND, AKA the kick-off of summer. That also means the Great Jane Re-Read begins. I’m sort of out of order this year—I’m reading MP first .
4. And I am reading a Great Russian Novel: War and Peace. I’m trying again. We’ll see how this goes. 
5. I have big plans for the weekend. Parents over for dinner tonight. Then massive cleaning, picture hanging, Avengers-seeing, chillaxing, and catching up on my magazine reading that I didn’t get to do during the show. Whew. 
6. It’s going to be in the 90s this weekend. That means—Emily doing mostly indoor things. Except swimming. That’s gonna happen. 
7. Did I mention I love summer? I do. It always makes me happy. Outdoor concerts, it’s light forever, vacations….bring it on. :) 

Friday: The show! Aren’t you surprised? :) Followed by going home, getting in bed and reading The Song of Achilles again, because I really like this book. Before the show, had a sublime salmon dinner and bought new sunglasses. Also read Redeemed, by Heather King, and scribbled some character sketches. 

Saturday: Bath. Clips. Lauds. Gym. Lost another pound! Woo. :) Puttered a bit around the house. Mass at 5:00. Show! The grape bowl was refilled backstage, which made us all much happier. (As I said: “I can’t work without grapes.”) Really, the entire cast is, to put it British-ly, “Splendid.” I”m going to miss them. Home, to more reading of Achilles. 

Sunday: Clips and lauds, which I did in a park near the theater. Lunch at First Watch, really more of a brunch. But still good. Love those crepeggs and potatoes…matinee was good, a nice sized crowd, and then home. Shopping—got a lamp for the music room downstairs, which is looking much better and less like a badly lit dungeon. Finished Siegfried, took a bath, ate dinner, and am watching The Painted Veil, which is a totally underrated movie. 

Yeah, I know the weekend’s not over, but I’ve been neglecting you guys over here. (Sorry bout that…) So here’s the deal…. :) 

FRIDAY: Not much to say about Friday. Work, doc appt., then rehearsal. We ran the entire show, and I think I’ve finally cracked this character….or, at least, come up with a way in that will work for the run. There’s always room to go deeper. (There’s more on this coming up.) Got home around 10:20ish. Penguins won game 5. :) (Game six in 1 hr. and 50 minutes….) 

SATURDAY: Up,clips, gym. Almost 2.3 miles on the treadmill. Home, then lunch at B&N (I was feeling the tomato sandwich), then grocery shopping at Giant Eagle, where I spent enough to get 60 cents of each gallon of gas, which made me RIDICULOUSLY happy. So I filled up. Home and nap until rehearsal. We ran the whole show again—but got out at 8:30! Schwee! (It’s not a really long show) Hit Target for some show cosmetics (foundation,  mascara) and came home, where I watched The Princess and The Frog. I hadn’t seen it before. It’s pretty cute, and the songs are definitely catchy. 

1) YES I am seeing The Hunger Games this weekend! Probably tomorrow since I imagine tonight is well-nigh sold out. So tomorrow afternoon (it’ll be cheaper, too, ha.) I am vastly excited! Will post report when I get back tomorrow.

2) Saw a fantastic show last night—Columbus Civic’s Moby-Dick: Rehearsed. Wow. Some background: I really dislike the novel Moby-Dick. In college, I signed up for a class called 19th century American novels, because the course description listed things like Little Women. So I thought I’d break out of my Anglophile-heavy load and take something new. Well….not so much. 

First of all, the novel is one part an awesome story and one part Whale Encyclopedia. The latter bored me to tears, and parts of the former are….not so awesome. Reading quizzes with questions like “who was in the first harpoon boat?” only furthered to kill any fire I had regarding this novel. I have tried to read it again (last year, being the most recent) and again the Whale Encyclopedia has defeated me. So I was a little hesitant about the play. 

The play is fantastic. Its premise is that it’s a theater troupe rehearsing Moby-Dick, so things like the boats, and, of course, the Whale, are imagined, which makes for a really immersive audience experience. The cast was great and I had a fantastic time. Maybe this is how Moby-Dick should have been written—as a story about revenge and obsession, instead of whale facts!

3) Had dinner with my parents at IHOP, where, despite the fact that one was recently built near my house, I haven’t been to in 12 years. In spring of 2000, my high school upperclassmen choirs did a “Florida Tour”—singing at Disney World, and competing in a national choral competition.  We drove the 23 hours from Pickerington to Orlando, and when we arrived at 7 am the next day, we went to an IHOP, with a jukebox and a very tropical vibe, thanks to the palm trees around the property. We were a bit sleep deprived and starving: those pancakes were great. Tonight I had their Maui Shrimp, which, surprisingly, was really good. I was skeptical of anything non-breakfast at a breakfast place. 

4) I’m watching Xavier play Baylor, and am, of course, rooting for the Ohio team. It’s close right now with 1 minute left in the half. OSU won last night, and I’m hoping that Ohio U could pull off the miracle against UNC, but I’m doubtful. Still, it would be awesome. 

5) Rehab is still going well…weight being lost, heart cooperating, all is well! Did a great leg circuit today—20 steps (each leg) on a step (like in stem aerobics), 20 releves (except the PT calls them “calf raises”), and 12 wall squats. Then repeat. It’s a great workout for the entire leg/bottom half of the body. 

6) Rehearsal for Bernarda Alba starts on Sunday! I am soooo excited! This is going to be a great, great show. I’ve always wanted to be in a drama—like a straight play drama—so this excited me greatly. I’ve met one of my castmates (she was at Moby Dick last night) and I think we’re going to have a really talented group of women. 

7) Just completed a big food shop at Target. I was surprised to see they have nice furniture! And COUCHES! I mean, wow! It was a fairly comfy one, too! Might be a candidate for the basement room…

Winter’s on the wing it’s a fine spring morn….:) 

I am wearing…my PJs. Just got out of the tub. 

I am listening to….Don Giovanni—on DVD. Met production with Bryn T. and Renee F. Bliss. 

I am thankful for…all of this!  And a super-fantastic clinic appointment in which I lost six pounds! Happy dance! And total motivation for going to rehab with a light heart. :)  (It’s not rehab, rehab…it’s basically getting into a “doctor approved” exercise program for six weeks. So chillax.) 

In the CD player…Evita. Holy crow, can I tell you, this movie is really good and underrated? You really need to see it. I want to see the revival on Broadway this summer!

This week…BalletMet meeting on Thursday; Rehab on W and F; St. Pat’s day party on Friday! Squee Irish tea and dancing!

I am reading…The Hunger Games Cookbook (going to try a recipe for cheese rolls this week), Memoirs of Cleopatra

From the kitchen…see rolls, above, also some chicken varieties…I’m brainstorming.

Really, I just want to talk about the awesomeness of clinic. Lost weight, PFts good, Chesxt X-ray “fantastic” (Tech’s word), got to see some of my awesome clinic people, and I turn 30 in less than a month! 

When I was first diagnosed with CF, my two goals were: get to five feet tall (mission accomplished) and to turn 30. So now that I’ve met (almost met!) both of those, it’s time to think BIGGER. 

What do you guys think my new goals should be? 

Outside my window…a sunny day, but it started with snow on the car. The snow is gone now and it’ll be in the 50/60s midweek. Ca-ra-zy weather. Just crazy. Not that I’m really minding. :)

I am wearing…jeans from Kohl’s an a blue J. Crew cashmere sweater. 

I am watching…The Help

I am reading…Church Fathers (BXVI’s series of Wednesday audiences); re-reading Harry Potter; Death On A Friday Afternoon

In the CD player…Renee and Byrn, Under the Stars. Oh, how I love this disc.

I am waiting…for news on auditions. Gah, I hate this!

Looking forward to…Sleeping Beauty at BalletMet this weekend! Also, Renee’s new disc, arriving at my house tomorrow. French songs! C’est vrai! :) 

This week…Rehab W and F. Super Tuesday Tomorrow! Something on Thursday but it’s slipping my mind…Sleeping Beauty weekend. :) 

From the kitchen…oh, I need to plan. I’m not really planning this. I am, however, planning my herb garden. I am excited. :) Basil, thyme, oregano, mint, parsley. Yummm. 

Celebrating…today is my friend Branden’s 30th birthday! :) 

Around the house…finally downloading Lion onto my Mac, which means I can use iCloud now—huzzah! Cleaned the kitchen, dusted, polished the upstairs dresser this weekend. Also working on some new filing systems for all the paper I have around these parts. 

So, this last week has been odd.

I had a cold last week, which turned into chest pain, vomiting, and pancreatitis! I was in the hospital for 2 1/2 days last week, getting pain and nausea meds and basically letting my pancreas chill out. This was probably my 11th bout of pancreatitis, so I am an old hand at this. BUT I got to be one of the first patients in the new NCH, on the 4th floor, which I have dubbed the “Floor of teh Squirrel.” (Each floor has a mascot, so to speak—a wooden carving between four and five feet high that greet visitors when they get off teh elevators and stands in front of the playroom. On 5AH, it’s a duck. On 4AH—my new hospital “home”—is a squirrel, complete with a bag of nuts and buckeyes.) The Squirrel will receive a name next week, when the nurses draw a name out of the bowl of nominations. I suggested “Nutsy” and my Dad, “Rocky.”

So, I went home last Saturday, oinly to return to the hospital on W for sinus surgery. Actually, the surgery was today, but my endocrinologist wanted me to come in W so they could monitor my (very stable) blood sugars. So, I sat around yesterday and did a whole lot of nothing. I started The Memoir of Cleopatra, by Margaret George, The Mermaid Tale (which I finished), by Sue Monk Kidd, and read the introduction to James’ The Wings of the Dove and Portrait of a Lady. I watched a lot of TV and took a short nap. I also walked around the floor and examined the new digs.

The rooms are BIG, with a full bath (including hair dryer!) that’s actually big enough to hold patient, IV poll, and about two or three other people. There’s a couch w/ a trundle bed and a recliner, as well as a nightstand and another smaller table for parents to use, along with the normal bed tray. The HUGE TV is bolted tot he wall and includes a DVD player. It ALSO becomes a computer with the touch of a bedside button, so I could keep on top of my email, etc. There’s a lot of storage, as well as a neat light board behind the bed that changes colors to illuminate a scene of flowers, leaves, and woodland animals. Overall, the rooms are very pleasant, and it’s nice to be able to have visitors and nurses in the room without them all having to squeeeeeze past each other.

My dad arrived around 5:00 on W, bearing Subway subs for us. An anesthesia resident came by while we were eating and asked me the general questions: problems with my kidneys/liver/heart/easy bruising/blood problems, etc. I’m anemic, so I do tend to bruise easily, my kidneys and liver work great, and my heart has decided to behave after all of last year’s fun! He explained the process—IV meds, laughing gas, etc—and dad warned him to watch any “extra” IVs they put in so we don’t repeat the Burn that Ate Emily’s Right Arm. :)After that, Dad left. I watched Miss Congenality, took 8 pm meds, met my night nurses (excellent ladies!), and drank/ate my heart out because I would be NPO (“nil per oram”, nothing by mouth) after midnight.

Melanie, my sister, works as a float at NCH, so she came to visit me before her 11 PM shift on the floor above me. We watched Practical Magic and I talked to her about what was going on. She’s a sharp nurse, and I think she’ll be a really good one. (The movie, btw, was really good.  I’d never seen it before.)

Levoquin, the antibiotic I was on to prevent any crazy stuff that might escape Dr. W’s suction on the table from bothering my lungs, as insomnia as a side effect. So I watched a lot of Frasier and Golden Girls. At midnight, my nurse hooked me up to a saline drip so I’d be hydrated, and checked my blood sugar, which would be rechecked at 8. I slept horribly, but that didn’t bother me too much since I would sleep beautifully very soon!

At around 6, my nurse came in and gave me my important AM meds: prograf, prednisone, and acyclovir (an antibiotic). I took these with a VERY small sip of water. I also changed into my hospital pants and top,w ashed my face and brushed my teeth, and got ready. An orderly came for me around 6:55, and (ALL BY HIMSELF!) pushed me and my bed down to the 2nd floor surgical unit.

In the long connecting hallway between the new hospital and the old, I saw Dr. G, my transplant surgeon (he always calls me “beautiful”, which, of course, I like!) and Laurie, one of my favorite radiology techs. This is one of the reasons I don’t mind going to the resort. For me, it’s like Cheers.

We passed the waiting room and I saw my parents and my sister waiting. After a nurse came in to take my vitals and check my blood sugar, my family came back to wait with me. The anesthesiologist came in, introduced himself, asked me a few questions, ect. He said, “yeah, this isn’t your first rodeo, right?” (LOVE that stuff.) Right after him came Dr. W—who has seen not just me, but both my parent and my sister, so it was a big love fest!—who talked me through it and gave me some follow-up instructions. A few minutes later, the nurses came to get me and I said good-bye to my parents.

Into the OR we went…I am inducted (anthestized) in the OR, instead of the separate induction antechamber, because of my lung issues. One of my favorite RTs was there to help out the team. I had the laughing gas given to me first, which I really didn’t like, because it made me sort of claustrophobic (odd, because I don’t mind oxygen masks, etc.), and the gas doesn’t really work on me (ie, calm me down, etc.) The anesthesiologist began to push his magic meds. My hearing, strangely, went first—it was like someone turning down the volume in my head. I focused on the bright lights behind me and then…

I woke up on the surgical unit. I was given pain and nausea meds. I went back to sleep.

Woke up between 11 and 12 in my regular room on 4AH. Still nauseous and having pain, so more meds. As they worked, I felt brave enough to try Sprite with my noon med. That stayed down, so I ordered a LIGHT lunch while my parents went to get theirs. It, too, stayed down. Dr. K came by and checked me over, and pronounced he was OK with my leaving when I was.

My port was de-accessed and I was given pain meds by mouth. By now I was getting sleepy again, so I napped a bit while the discharge papers were written up. I left around 3, and finally got home around 4 (we had to swing by the pharmacy to get some of my regular meds, and got behind the slowest, chattiest person EVER in the drive-through.). Came home and read some more, had cereal for dinner, watched last week’s Person of Interest, and now I’m blogging about it. :)

So all and all, not bad. I’m on percocet for pain when I need it. He had to do a lot of scraping—there was a lot of gunk and pus and probably blood clots and stuff up there. It will be sent to the lab for cultures and my sinuses were all rinsed with an antibiotic solution. They are painful, but it’s so great to be able to breathe through my nose! And not have all that pressure!

I have to stay at my parents’ tonight—I can’t be “alone” for the first 24 hours—but will go home tomorrow, probably once my dad gets home from work.